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How to Stay Positive in Negative Times

I have been dating Jeff for a little over 3 years.

I’m the cautious one. He’s the “try it just once” one.

I like health food. He likes pizza.

I like plans. He likes spontaneously taking me away for a weekend.

I sleep in. He’s up usually at 6 am.

I’m fiercely stubborn and independent. He’s more collaborative and a team player.

I love a clean home. He loves …um there’s no polite way to say he’s a slob.

Such a slob.

Like was he literally raised in a barn? (To his mother: I know you tried…I don’t know how you did it)

I can pretty much break down what he did while I was sleeping by the trail of cereal dust, clothes on the floor, and spilled coffee creamer, near the coffee pot (rant: why was the creamer not put back into the fridge?!)

And in classic Jeff fashion, at least once an evening, and EVERY SINGLE morning… we have the chair.

Let me explain.

It takes less than 3 second to push a chair back under the table.

We don’t have a particularly large kitchen.

So for the chair to be out, it blocks all access to the kitchen or guest bathroom.

And it’s a multiple time a day problem.

I’ve tried coaching politely, “baby, would you please push your chair in?” and then when he does, give him a graham cracker or a kiss.

I’ve tried doing it myself while he watches.

I’ve accidentally pretended to trip over it, thinking the guilt of hurting me would cause the action I want.

I’ve resorted to…yelling. “Put the fucking chair back!!”


Guess what was out this morning?

The (expletive) chair. I pushed it in, with a loud exaggerated noise to show him my disproval.

Gave him a quick peck on the cheek then went into my office and learned about the tragedy of Anthony Bourdain’s suicide.

And as much as I talk about hospitalizations, death, leaving before our time, telling our loved ones how much they mean to us, simple things like a chair have me forgetting my own lessons.

I decide to go out to the kitchen to tell Jeff how much he means to me.

To find he left for work, cleaned up the kitchen, took out the trash.

And I text him…

“The chair is one of the reminders I have that we share this beautiful home together.

That we fight in this home. That we love in this home.

That we both have a safe home to come home to.

That we held hands during a tour and thought, ‘babe, we could build our lives within these walls.’ “

And now we are.

And our lives are always full of oddities and quirks.

How many chairs left out are ruining your relationships?

How many people have to die too early before we take a moment to appreciate them while they are with us?

How many nights do we have to be lonely to realize, we just need to connect more outside of social media than on it?

Share love.

Forgive the quirks. Appreciate them for the fact you’re close enough to someone to notice their quirks.

Appreciate life.

It’s too precious.

It’s always gone too soon.

Love more.

We never know what other people are going through.

Make the time TODAY to reach out to those you love.

Take a few minutes to appreciate someone.

It shouldn’t take their DEATH to appreciate their LIFE.

P.s. If you’re reading this Jeff…

I love you.

I love that you make me try new things.

My life is better with weekly pizza.

Spontaneously taking me away for a weekend is my favorite.

Thank you for making coffee before I wake up.

Thank you for showing me how to be a better team player.

Thank you for buying me my dream dining table and chairs.


Want Even More?

1. I AM ____: The Untold Story of Success  it takes real-life stories of successful influencers during their darkest times and puts it against the backstory of dealing with the terminal illness, Cystic Fibrosis.

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How to Stay Positive in Negative Times

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