There’s been a shift in the past decade where the very technology created to make out lives easier, in fact, has done quite the opposite. Our lives are overwhelmed with it and constantly scrolling to check out other people’s posts can leave us wondering who we are, what we’re good at, and if we will ever be “enough”.
Even some of my wealthiest friends admit that in their network, they feel like the private jet they just bought is nothing compared to their friends boats. They work harder, hoping that one day they will be able to portray the very life on the outside they feel they should have.
How many of us post our food online? I do. I never knew why I wanted to, I just always felt if I was having an instagrammable dish, I should share it with fans.
Recently, I read that subconsciously, we aren’t posting it to share experiences but at an unconscious level we do this to show others that whatever meal they are about to ingest, is worse than what we are doing. It’s a modern day keep up with the Jones’s.
I recently started monitoring my screen time, putting blocks on it. Which, by the way, is ridiculously tough for someone who has built and entire speaking business, coaching business, and connection to the world of Cystic Fibrosis online.
I noticed it’s not the activity of connection that makes me feel like less than, but it’s the mindless scrolling.
There’s a point in every day, when you mindlessly scroll, your unconscious becomes overwhelmed with the images of what life should be like and you start to spiral to any feeling other than content and happiness. It’s not what we have or get that makes us happy.
So how do you gain it back?
How do you practice self love and get back into the state where you are accomplishing what you want to accomplish, you are happy, and you enjoy just “being”?
Practicing self love, is something you absolutely MUST DO regularly. I typically choose Sundays for my self-love hour and I make sure it’s scheduled at least a week in advance. This POWER HOUR gives you the chance to reconnect with your natural gifts, get to know yourself more, understand how you are motivated, what your emotional drivers are, and how to pull yourself from a state of sadness and envy to productivity and energy.
There’s a way to break the trap that technology wants to have on us. If done regularly, you can absolutely create long lasting change that is productive to yourself.
THE POWER OF GRATITUDE
We tend to think so much about what we need, we forget to reflect on what we have already.
We are so focused on everything we need to achieve, be, have, to we forget to spend the time reflecting on who has come into our lives, what we are truly grateful for, and the simple things life has to offer.
Every Sunday, I sit down and think about my favorite conversations I’ve had with people from the week. I have a a giant box of Thank You cards with custom envelopes, custom stamps, and whenever I have a great conversation – I put that person’s name on an envelope. Then, on Sunday, while Jeff watches the Vikings, I write a simple “THANK YOU” card and share with that person what they mean to me and what that conversation meant for me.
Why Sunday? Because most people head back to the office on Monday and what a better way to start the week than to put into your subconscious that you are already going to be grateful for the people to meet, the connections you’ll form, and the friendships you’ll strengthen.
Additionally, one of the best ways to practice gratitude, is by journalling it. Think of the past week and allow yourself time to come up with 50 things that you were grateful for.
Sometimes, my list is unusually simple. I’ll write down how much fun it was to be interviewed so I can spread these messages to more people.Sometimes I’ll reflect on how nice it was that Chanel responded really well on a leash during a walk. I reflect on every facet of my life from the past week and if it takes 20 minutes or two hours, I always come up with a list of 50.
THE POWER OF ATHLETICISM
I remember very clearly how I felt when the doctors told me I wouldn’t have much longer before I needed to think about life on the transplant list.
I remembered thinking, “Will I ever dance again?”
And I was fueled by fear. Fear can be a very powerful initiation motivator.
At the time, I was making less than $17,000 a year living in Southern California and on disability services. All I had was my mind and my body.
The fear that came over me, gave me the jumpstart I needed to focus on fitness. On a trip to Dallas, Texas to visit family, my mom offered to take me to her local gym. We enrolled in a Zumba class, wheelchair and all.
I would move my hands and arms rhythmically to the beat, until I started to cough the infected mucous up. Eventually, I stood up in the class and attempted to dance. I remembered leaving that hour long class promising myself, I would dedicate the rest of my life to fitness and even went so far as to get certified to teach Zumba for a few years.
The power of athleticism, regardless of if you are in a wheelchair and wildly throwing your arms into a frenzy above your head, or running a marathon- is one of the most basic things you can do to change the trajectory of your life and give you that boost of self-love.
So many times after a keynote, audience members will ask me, “How did you do it?” And my answer is always the same. I started with two core beliefs.
1. My mind is the most powerful tool I have.
2. I can’t control my mind if I don’t take care of my body.
Regularly schedule out some type of movement. Strive to hit your 10,000 steps a day on your fitbit. Strive to lift weights and increase the amount of weight you can lift. Start small if you need to. You can walk a few blocks in the morning before work and lift groceries rather than wheel a cart. Progress is perfection. Never settle, keep trying. Stop comparing your workouts to others and focus on improving yourself.
THE POWER OF REFLECTION
Those who regularly reflect on their lives in accordance to their goals, tend to have a higher quality of life than those who do not.
Our brains are programmed to create systems for every thing we do.
Brushing our teeth, for example, was taught to us as children and very few of us have ever taken the time to recognize the system and map we created to this action for approximately 8 minutes a day for every day of our lives.
Think about it. What is your “trigger” that symbolizes it is time to brush your teeth? What time of day do you usually do it? How long? How many minutes on each side of our mouth? What hand to do you grab the toothpaste with?
Chances are…this has not changed over the years.
We have similar systems for more complex human actions, such a finding love, handling self-sabotage, overcoming limiting beliefs.
Many of us, are unaware of the patterns are brains are running.
If we have a “system” for finding love and part of that system is asking ourselves the question of, “Will I ever find love?” our brain tends to think in three ways.
1) I might find love
2) I will never find love
3) I am absolutely certain I can and will find love.
Most people, never think of the 3rd and instead, opt to think of it could be possible, but unlikely.
Now, how do you think the person who frequently runs the pattern of not knowing if they will find love is likely to act on a date? Chances are, they are going to look at the flaws in their potential partner as opposed to the great qualities they have.
Start reflecting on yourself and the patterns you are running constantly.
Adapted from Tony Robbins, start questioning yourself. Here are the most powerful questions you can ask on a weekly basis to transform your life.
• What am I most happy about in my life now?
• What am I most excited about in my life now?
• What am I most proud about in my life now?
• What am I most grateful about in my life now?
• What am I enjoying most in my life right now?
• What am I committed to in my life right now?
• Who do I love?
As you answer these, you will find that certain patterns are emerging in your brain, and it is setting you up for success for the rest of the week. You are mentally “priming” yourself to find the good, the positive emotions, the love.
Overtime, as you practice these 3 Personal Powers, you will find your life looks completely different than it did previously.
Let me know how these exercises worked for you.
You’ve got this,
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